The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Why People Who Believe In The Metaverse, Need To Be Dire Straits Fans …

After the amazing drama of yesterday, I need to calm things down.

Not for you, but for me … because my heart can’t take nerves like that.

And yet it’s going to have to do just that in a little over a week.

Bloody hell.

So to slow things down, let me take you back in time …

Back in 1985, the band Dire Straits launched a song called Money For Nothing.

It became famous for a whole host of reasons.

It was the first song of theirs that actually sounded slightly modern.

It had ‘modern’ day references in the lyrics.

It had Sting – from The Police – singing on it.

It had this video …

Did you watch it?

You didn’t did you?

You lazy bastards …

Well, to get back to the point of this post, here’s a screen grab from it …

Now while that image may not strike you as cutting edge, back in 1985, it was revolutionary.

Digital characters living in a digital world, where their universe was a blend of normality and possibility.

Hang on, does that sound like something else?

Something that a huge amount of the tech and marketing industry have been wetting their pants over?

Something that sounds suspiciously close to this …

Did you watch this?

You didn’t did you?

You über-lazy assholes …

Well, to get back to the point of this post, here’s a screen grab from it …

Yep.

Yep it does.

A music video from 1985 by the most snooze-rock band ever formed, not only communicated the metaverse, it did it in a style pretty close to what Facebook and every other brand have shown as ‘the standard’.

How terrifyingly embarrassing is that?

All these hip, technologists, futurists and strategists trying to look like they’re on the edge of culture creation and all the bollocks they’re banging on about was expressed by bloody Dire Straits 37 years earlier.

THIRTY SEVEN YEARS.

Hahahahahahahahaha.

I mean … when that Zuck video first broke, I wrote a post about how it was missing the point by showing things we can already do, but now – thanks to errrrrm, Dire Straits, I realise it was even worse than I imagined.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe technology and – the metaverse, even though what is being celebrated as it, isn’t what it is – will have the possibility to make a huge, positive difference to humanity. Eventually.

But making – and lauding – a film and idea that looks awfully similar to a bloody 1985 music video isn’t doing them any favours. If anything, it shows how much of this industry is filled with individuals who crave attention or adoration or just desperately seek relevance.

Not helped when you learn that, unsurprisingly, the main reason Zuck is so into the Metaverse is not for changing the world but upping his bank account.

Given how much Facebook tried to label Apple as ‘anti-business’ for the amount they charged creators and partners – which is a lot less than 47.5% – it makes the whole Meta situation even more laughable.

Don’t get me wrong, I know the new is often misunderstood.

And new technology should not be judged by the standards of established technology.

But when the ‘icons and industry leaders’ stand on soapboxes and stages to promote the future in a similar way that Dire Straits brought to the World almost 4 decades ago … it’s only fair to question if these people care about the future or simply their own career image.

Even though, sadly, we keep seeing hyping can get better career growth, than grafting.

If the Metaverse could fix that, then maybe we’d all sign up.

Then again …


22 Comments so far
Leave a comment

this is almost a fucking good post.

Comment by andy@cynic

“Almost”.

Comment by Rob

zuck is a car salesman in tech bro clothing.

Comment by andy@cynic

This is brilliant Robert. I will share this to a lot of people who will be deeply insulted by it.

Comment by George

You’re welcome, hahaha.

Comment by Rob

The guy behind the Dire Straits video went on to direct Coneheads. I think that’s significant.

Comment by John

I once saw a porn movie parody of coneheads.
I still feel confronted by it.

Comment by Bazza

I’m guessing you saw it more than once.

Comment by John

He had to watch it 56 times to work out how confronted he was by it.

Comment by DH

Sums up my time there perfectly.

Comment by Bazza

The most expensive adventure in history wasn’t it?

Comment by Rob

Almost as expensive as you flying half way around the world to watch your team lose their big match.

Comment by Bazza

You forgot to point out that Zuck expects his users to pay money for nothing. #opengoal

Comment by John

FTW

Comment by DH

Boom.

Comment by Rob

That song stands the test of time. It’s still as crap as it always was.

Comment by DH

And yet it’s their best song. Ha.

Comment by Rob

I enjoyed that Robert. Thank you.

Comment by Lee Hill

The video and lyrics have dated severely… but the post is good.
I remember hearing that they actually lost half the footage, and had to remake it.

Also Sting got half the money just for uttering a few notes of “Don’t stand so close to me” at the end. Bastard.

Comment by Rob (The other one)

Sting is the Uber-Tory.

Comment by Rob

Who got rich from a song about a teacher lusting after a student… ew
Feels appropriately Tory.

Comment by Rob (The other one)

Most metaverse is mediocre at best.

If brands could look beyond the greed, then they’d partner with gaming studios. Not building an internal team, outsourcing to 3rd party agencies or even studios looking to navigate and the area themselves and capitalise on the situation. Gaming studios already have the quality, infrastructure, expertise and secure payment systems. Heck, they probably have more of your audience than a brand has.

But…people forget that even websites or apps are poor and jumping onto new and shiny should be put off and invested in getting those core touchpoints up-to-scratch with a robust experience and e-comm system.

Brands struggle with keeping their listed (2D) products up-to-date and now they want to delve into 3D versions… hmmm.

A cool reminder is this article. It takes me back to when I first experienced VR back in the 90s. And just like Dire Straits, not much has changed.

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/createlondon_tech-mertaverse-vr-activity-6902942571778121729-0TFn?utm_source=linkedin_share&utm_medium=ios_app

Comment by HBD




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