Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Crap Products In History, Food
As you know, I like gadgets.
I’ll go further … I like shit gadgets.
My bank history is littered with decisions of madness. From robot balls to pens that can write in any colour imaginable to stupid badges and cups for colleagues to a bloody windmill.
Part of it is because I just find weird shit, fascinating … part of it is because I’m a fucking idiot … but believe it or not, over the past few years I’ve got much, much better grip on my ‘stupidity spending’. Even Jill said so – which is the ultimate proof, because she’s been an innocent victim in so much of it.
But what’s even more amazing is that I’ve started to gain an objective viewpoint, which is my way of saying that not only would I never buy this item, I acknowledge it’s fucking pants.
What item? This item …
A one handed pepper mill.
A ONE HANDED PEPPER MILL!
What the absolute fuck?!!
Yes, I appreciate there may be some people – like the elderly or those who deal with disability – where it has merit, but the photo doesn’t show that.
In fact, based on the pic, it’s been designed for middle class, psychotic males who need to control every aspect of their wives lives … right down to how much pepper they can put on their food, even though they made it themselves because their husband won’t let them leave the house IN CASE THEY TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE IN THE STREET AND THAT WOULD BE AN ACT OF DISRESPECT.
It’s not just over-engineered … it’s over-thought … the equivalent of a planner who has convinced themselves they can position cereal as the family antidote to the economic crisis.
Or should I say, a multi-millionaire, delusional CEO.
Look, I’m all for over-engineered nonsense. My car is a perfect example of that. But over-engineered nonsense for the ‘psychotic bully in your life’ is another thing altogether … even though I can see a perfect partnership with the re-release of Sleeping With The Enemy.