The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

It’s a big deal … the biggest fair in the city and – I think – the oldest in Europe dating back to something like 1284.

It was one of the highlights of my childhood … originally going with my Dad and then graduating to my mates.

There’s a lot of memories associated with Goose Fair.

From winning my first pet – a goldfish – on the hook-a-duck stall to watching Wayne Green try to calm his hysterical frightened-of-heights girlfriend as the machine broke down with them at the very top through to falling down a hill in mud as my Dad tried to lead us on a shortcut back to the car and errrrm, failed.

I still remember us having to find a bathroom to try and clean ourselves up a bit, hahaha.

But there’s also some specific elements that embody Goose Fair to me …

Silly Rides.
Candy Floss.
Mushy Peas and Mint Sauce.

And then there’s fruit machines.

Fruit machines quickly captured my attention. Not just for their lights and sounds, but the thrill of the gamble.

I was introduced to it when my Dad innocently let me put 2p in a machine when I was very young. It was meant to simply be an introduction to one of the thousands of loud, colourful machines dotted around the fair … but then the worst thing that could happen, happened.

I won.

And so began a love affair with gambling.

Or the thrill of the gamble.

To be honest, this didn’t reveal itself until I was older and working in a pub. Suddenly I had access to these machines and quickly established a relationship with them. And while I never had enough money for it to become a problem, it became a problem.

I would quickly put all my pot washing/bar work weeks wages in them.

15 quid.

15 quid spent in a matter of minutes.

15 quid that I could justify because every now and then – and it was every now and then – I’d win more than I put in.

It was there that I realised I had an addictive personality and while it took me a few months to work out this was not good for me, I am extremely grateful I had both the willpower and stubbornness to stop it before it graduated to something far worse.

Same reason I stopped drinking – even though that was because of a night on a boat to Denmark aged 15 where I got so hammered I vowed I’d never do it again [and didn’t] – and why I never started smoking or trying drugs. In short, my natural disposition is to go ‘all in’ on anything I like … hence food took an unhealthy turn and that’s taken me 53 years to finally deal with it. Or at least get a grip on it.

The reason I say this is that last month I found myself at a Motorway service station at 5 in the morning. I’d just bought myself a breakfast and with a pound coin as change, my attention was caught by the flashing lights of the fruit machine.

For some reason I decided to go and check them out.

My god they’d changed from my day.

More expensive, more complicated, more choices.

But I decided to drop my lonely pound coin in one and see what happened.

And what happened is I won.

A lot.

Over 119 pounds … as you can see from the photo at the top of this post.

That’s a better return than bitcoin.

And while it made me happy, what was even more pleasing was I pressed ‘collect’ and walked away.

No desire to keep going.
No temptation to try another machine.
No trigger to find something else to gamble on.

It was a taste of the thrill without it becoming a need for a thrill.

And while I am under no doubt that my addictive personality is still there – lying in wait to fuck me up, even though these days its attention is about feeding my need and desire for wifi enabled gadget shit or guitars, rather than gambling – it was fun to have a taste of the fruit machine thrill, without needing the gluttony.

That said, I won’t take that for granted. I won’t push my luck.

I know for a fact not everyone is so lucky and there’s no reason why I should be.

Which it’s why it’s worth remembering the cause of addiction is not – as certain right wing press likes to promote – always driven by despair, it can also be ignited by success.

However small, however long ago.

So be nice to those who are in the throws of it, especially given so many in our industry and trying to ignite it, albeit under the guise of language like membership and loyalty.